Pirating the Seas (Craig Lutke & Patrick McAlister)
Me dad said I was evil when my youth had come to pass
I had the disposition of a shark with painful gas
Me mother told me piracy is what you'll need to pass
So I told me mother thanks and I kicked me father's... well...
It's a short, hard life when you do what we do
Grabbing silver and gold and a little booty, too
And how do you survive when you sail the ocean blue.
Me mother said please, be sure and eat your peas
To avoid the scurvies when you're pirating the seas.
A pirate lives for killin', for blood and guts and gore
Though when the day is over, you still need somethin' more
But women were scarce when you signed to come aboard
So you grab the cabin boy and you treat him like a... well...
A cabin boy on his knees does what we please
And he loves to appease when he's pirating the seas
It's tough when your captain is damned insane
He once steered our ship into a huge hurricane
He ran up aloft to survey his domain
We felt warm, yellow rain when he drained his main... well...
The captain said, "freeze", pulled his pants to his knees
Cause he likes to feel the breeze when he's pirating the seas.
We ran across a merchantman and blew their mast apart
They wouldn't give up, our gunner took it to heart.
He gave a foul breeze not on the weather chart.
They surrendered like France when he cut a smelly... well...
We ignored their pleas, and stole their currencies
And it stank like cheese, when you're pirating the seas.
We sailed 'round Cape Horn where it's windy and cold
To stay warm we gathered into a huddled mold
Someone must have left his pants down in the hold
'Cause I wasn't asked a question, but I certainly was polled.... Uh... well...
The cold makes you sneeze, sometimes you just freeze
Frost bites your pee-pees, when you're pirating the seas.
We're the worst enemies, we do what we please
And everybody flees, when we're pirating the seas.
For booking information contact Craig Lutke at: 214-415-9563 or by e-mail at