Lead vocals: Nathan Campbell/Christopher Dallion, Bass: Marj Troyer, Tan Tan: Craig Lutke, Tenor: Trae Hamilton, Tambourine: Mary Dossey
Craig Lutke wrote this song as a blend of Lonely Island style lyric absurdity combined with dude-bro country. In his head, it was always Sharkbait and Splice on the rap-style lyric delivery on the verses, though neither one of them are very happy about it. Everyone knows that a pirate doesn't become a pirate because they love back-breaking work. They do it for some time off.