We let them know we're coming ahead of time?!? We really are the worst pirates.

The skull and guns flies in the lobby for unwary ticket-buyers.

Jack the Rum Runner goes full Sparrow with his v5.0 outfit for the movie premiere.

Tired of getting poked in the eye, Maroon the Shantyman decides to eat Harvey the Corpsman's hat feather.

After discovering the thing's calorie count, though, he is forced to just duck... duck... get it?

Somehow or another, the band manages to cram themselves onto the Alamo's stage with room to breed.

It wouldn't be a Bilge Pumps performance without a little lingerie show.

John Crow the Cook moves into the crowd like a one-man press gang looking for naughty volunteers.

They finally did it! The band forced out Maroon and has opened up their full-time show tunes review!

Splice the Rigger gets entirely too in tune with the drum when he dances to "Johnny Jump Up"

John Crow can't stand the strain of it all and collapses on stage. Just in time for Harvey and Splice to conveniently not catch him.

The band finishes off the night by plugging in for some rock songs. They, unfortunately, plugged into a 220 outlet and were never heard from again.