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Songs Lyrics
A-F G-O P-Z Christmas
Seven Drunken Nights
(Traditional, altered lyrics by the Bilge Pumps)

As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a boat tied to the dock where my old boat should be
Well, I called me wife and said to her would you kindly tell to me
Who owns that boat tied to the dock where my old boat should be?

(Chorus)
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's a lovely barrel that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I travelled, a hundred miles or more
But a barrel with the skull & guns I never saw before


And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and said to her would you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be?

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's a woolen blanket that me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day I travelled, a hundred miles or more
But a blanket filled with bullet holes I never saw before


And as I came home on a Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe upon the chair, where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and said to her would you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe upon the chair where my old pipe should be?

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's a bosun's whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I travelled, a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a bosun's pipe I never saw before


And as I went home on a Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and said to her would you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be?

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's two lovely jars of dirt me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I travelled, a hundred miles or more
But laces on a jar of dirt I never saw before


And as I went home on a Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and said to her would you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be?

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I travelled, a hundred miles or more
But a baby with an eye patch sure I never saw before


And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be
Well, I called me wife and said to her would you kindly tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be?

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's a lovely corset that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I travelled, a hundred miles or more
But fingers on a corset I never saw before


And as I went home on a Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing inside her thing where my old thing should be
Well, I called me wife and said to her would you kindly tell to me
Who owns that thing inside your thing where my old thing should be?

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's a lovely peg leg that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I travelled, a hundred miles or more
But hair on a peg leg sure I never saw before



For booking information contact Craig Lutke at:
214-415-9563 or by e-mail at

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